New Year is a time for fresh beginnings and embarking on new projects. It is also a limbo time of year when the Christmas fairy lights remain up, desperately sparkling for a few more days , the tree swoons in the corner of the living room, gaily decked at a jaunty angle, and the return to work blues begin to set in. Our usual festive fairy lights are added to by the occasional zap and pop of exploding electrics as Alex embarks upon the first fix of the extension. The air is a shade of electric blue as I question the wisdom of upside down plugsockets and abstract wiring. (Do we really have to have the oven in the middle of the dining room?)
Sporting a new, spiky hairstyle akin to Nigel Kennedy as a result of one too many brushes with lively cabling, Alex's temper and roots are frazzled. A festive Venetian break went some way towards repairing strained relations and split ends. However, a few carafes of vino later and our own weight in Christmas dinners, we have returned resplendent to the project at hand. Gale force winds and biblical downpours have lent an air of the apocalypse (or is it apoplectic?) to the project, as my Dad and Alex strive to find new and inventive ways to hang off the roof. New neighbours have arrived and the usual initial greetings of 'do you need any sugar?' have been replaced with awkward apologies of 'err incase you happen to find a hammer in your back garden, it's ours....hi, I'm Jade, welcome to Lavenham Close!'
I, meanwhile, am designing the kitchen. My someone tenuous grasp of basic mathematical principles means that measuring up and calculations have a creative air. This is enhanced by Alex's ability to lose the tape measure at the most inconvenient of moments. Thus, I am often to be found striding across the kitchen in size 11 boots to try and gauge footage. I find the whole conversion process alarming at the best of times and may consequently be guilty of ordering dolls house furniture or chairs that the Angel of the North would find comfortable. Frantic emails to my maths teacher are in the pipeline and revision of the theories of circle measurement (something to do with Pie, Arse, Square?) . Nevertheless, although not able, I am willing, and have chosen my tiles/wallpaper/pictures and vases already. One must get ones priorities straight.
January looms and with it, the promise of snow and the strain of a full time position at work. 'Zzzap! Crackle.......Oh bl*%$y hell!' From the sounds of things, Alex has mistaken a plug socket for a light switch again. On second thoughts, maybe I will be better off, if not safer, back at work!
